Into the 3rd week

Pretty interesting week so far.  I can’t believe how happy I have felt over the last few days.  The talking and writing is doing wonders for my soul.  I have never in my life felt this happy, felt this light hearted, felt this much joy!  I never even realized that it was possible.  The two children that I raised will be making contact with their newly discovered brother.  I know that my daughter already has.  They are both excited over the prospects I think.  My wife has made steps towards my son and towards his birth mom.  She wants to be a part of this and I want her right by my side through it all.  She tries hard to understand and I think she comprehends how I feel, but she knows that she will never really know the feelings because she hasn’t been in our shoes.  I love her to death, she has been such a wonderful support.

I know this is happening for a reason.  We are meant to be happy on this earth, not to live in sorrow.  There has been too much sorrow and pain over the last 30 years.  It has never been truly expressed, but rather bottled up and kept inside.  Such a burden has been lifted from my shoulders now that I know that she forgives me.  I have been able to finally ask her for that forgiveness.  She now knows that I forgave her a long time ago.  For 30 years she did not know.  While we have forsaken the actions and events the gave us a son, we are so proud of what he has become, so very thankful for a loving family that raised him.  Words cannot adequately express my gratitude and feelings.  I hope he knows what he has brought into our lives in the way of joy and happiness and release of pain.  I have had my emotions on the edge of my sleeve for the last 2 ½ weeks.  I have never cried so much in my life.  I know I am healing, I know she is healing.  We will all be fine.

Wow, what more can I say?