One of the worst days in my life-The Last Day

Well, the other shoe has finally dropped, I had a feeling this great, wild ride could not last for long. It did last for 3 1/2 weeks. Due to the sentiments of those that she loves most, we will no longer have contact. I guess I will find out how she is by way of my relationship with our son. I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest, like I am looking at a gaping hole where it used to be. Yesterday I couldn't believe how happy I was, how it was possible for a person to find such joy in life, and then today.....what a difference a day makes.....and that isn't even figuratively. The subject of her email was "The Last Day".

She has been under pressure from everyone around her, everyone that loves her, to cut ties, she has. I hope everyone is happy. It's not what either of us wanted, though we both knew we would eventually slow down as our lives started returning to normal after all of this news, all of the things that have happened. This has been so exciting, having her back in my life, a good friend, lost so long ago. True, it was more than a good friendship then, but that is what I was striving for now, to maintain contact on an even keel, to know that she was ok, that I was ok. Where does one go from here after something like this? I know I will survive, I have survived this long and it hasn't always been an easy life, but I have never had to give up something found after 28 years of searching. Never. How do you do that? How do you give up sojmething that has been a part of your life for that long? It's not an easy thought to deal with. It's not going to be easy to do. Her emails have been so refreshing, it's been good to see.......

I have to stop this now....maybe I will do more later today, maybe not, I'm not sure when I will be able to get back to this. She's back out of my life and I am out of hers.........